Canoeing For Beginners – The Customs House, South Shields

Writer: Mike Yeaman

Director: Helen Ferguson

Reviewer: Ian Cain

The Public Reviews Rating:

They say that the truth is often stranger than fiction, and this certainly applies to the case of former teacher and prison officer John Darwin, who faked his own death in a supposed canoeing accident, off the coast of Hartlepool, in March 2002.

The public fascination surrounding the elaborate con was such that it provided the inspiration for Adrian Gere’s 2009 novel ‘Return from the Dead’, a 2010 storyline for the ITV soap-opera ‘Coronation Street’, and a BBC 4 dramatisation of the events, starring Bernard Hill as John Darwin and Saskia Reeves as his wife, Anne, entitled ‘Canoe Man’. Now, playwright Mike Yeaman has used the bizarre events as the basis for his new play, ‘Canoeing for Beginners’.

The story revolves around Beryl (Pat Dunn) and Frank (David Whitaker), a married couple who are facing financial ruin due to the collapse of their business. Together, they hatch a plan for a stress-free retirement in the sun. It’s dead simple – all Frank has to do is fake his own death, lie low for a while, and head for a hotel in Havana. Beryl will remain behind to comfort their grown-up kids, Keith (Gary Kitching) and Carol (Laura Norton), arrange the funeral, and claim the life insurance, before jetting out to join him.

However, neither Frank nor Beryl have bargained for the dogged tenacity of the family liaison officer, Sergeant Watts (Chris Connel), a birthday surprise reunion, Cuban officialdom, or the arrival of Hurricane Britney!

By turns, ‘Canoeing for Beginners’ is a comedy, drama and farce and Mike Yeaman displays great panache in writing dialogue for each of the aforementioned genres. He even has the knack of adding subtle touches to reinforce the fact that this piece of fiction is heavily-based upon actual fact – the portrait of Charles Darwin in Frank and Beryl’s lounge being a particular example.

The web of lies and pretence, woven by Frank and Beryl, leads to a whole host of farcical situations that almost threaten to uncover the scam until events eventually (the running time is approximately two and a half hours) reach a crescendo that is frantic and frenetic, with a twist in the tale that is black humour at its best.

‘Canoeing for Beginners’ is a first-class production that boasts a consummate cast, a sparkling script and a plot that has more twists and turns than a corkscrew.